The Cost of Happiness

I was 5 of 8 steps into a job interview this week (a friend appropriately asked me, "are you applying to be one of Obama's bodyguards?!" It was all a little much for the position), and I decided that I needed to turn it down. I am 23, living at home, serving at two different restaurants and actively searching for a real 'grown-up' job. I was approached by a recruiter about this position that was in outside sales. The word sales has always scared me. Who doesn't picture the cheesy, pushy and poorly dressed used car salesman? I do not want to be one of those. I had an interview, a ride-along, another interview, phone interview with the VP of Sales, wrote a 90-day business plan and was on track to go on another ride-along, go over my 90-day business plan and then IF, and only if I was lucky enough, be able to partake in interview "number 4."

I immediately had one of those internal freak-outs. A quarter-life crisis. I have always wanted one of those jobs that made me happy, where I enjoy going into work everyday and like the people I share my workday with. When I told this to the recruiter, he came back with, "They call it work for a reason, not play." This only turned me off further from the position (that, and the time limit they gave me to decide on this huge commitment).

When did we decide that work was supposed to be so miserable? Why does it feel like so few people are lucky enough to truly enjoy their jobs? My mom is an administrative assistant but she enjoys going to work everyday. My grandmother had to be forced into retirement because she did not want to stop working. My sister works for MAC makeup and absolutely loves what she does. She finally doesn't care about what other people think of her and what she does for a living; she gets pure joy out of doing makeup all day and working along side friends. She told me once that by working for MAC, she is proving to her daughter that she can do whatever she wants in life, as long as it makes HER happy and no one else.

I sat with all this information yesterday, talking endlessly on the phone with friends and getting their input for good measure. I talked with A Boy who gave me the best advice of all. When I asked him if he thought I would be an idiot for turning it down he said no, that he would respect me more for doing so. He said he knew before I even told him that I was the kind of person to do things that make me happy. If it isn't enjoyable, why waste our precious life doing it? Or dating it? Or eating it? Another friend sent me a text that was so simple and to the point. It read, "Don't do it. If you already know you'll be miserable, it'll probably be even worse. Find something you enjoy, even if it takes longer" Brilliant. Just what I needed to hear.

When it came down to it, I knew I had to follow my heart. And that is exactly what I did. I kindly turned down the offer. While I still question whether I made the right choice, my mom told me today that she is so proud of me for making the decision that I did....and I am as well.